a twist of fate puts harry, a small-time thief, in an acting audition and faster than post-pee tapping lands him on the lap of los angeles california, in a party where he meets a gay detective called gay perry, and sees his promiscuous high school crush, harmony, getting felt up by a stranger while she sleeps on a table. the three of them are then sucked into a murder conspiracy while i ate beef tapa that felt and tasted like plastic.
is robert downey jr. gay? because if he isn't, then he better undergo some masculinity restoration program because he is definitely sending out gay signs in his role here eventhough his character, harry, is 100% male and boners up when snuggling with harmony. i don't know, it was just kind of annoying and made it hard for me to relate to harry. val kilmer, on the other hand portrayed his gay perry role very well. refined and held back, the kind of homosexual i wouldnt have a problem being around with (except for the kissing part) because the only thing i hate more than vegetables are loud and proud gay people. anyways, thank goodness there was a pretty stunning girl named michelle monaghan to cancel out all of this gayness. she's kind of like an l.a. lolita, she's an aspiring actress who's only claim to fame is a beer/bear commercial and she's probably slept with more men than you could ever invite into your stag party. still, she was purty hot.
this movie is so fast-paced, scenes just snap one after another, it would seem that the book this was based on was no more than 100 pages long. a lot of things happen in this film, and despite a few being a bit far-fetched, i enjoyed almost all of them (except for the kissing part). these scenes are accompanied by some smart and funny dialogue, especially the ones that went between harry and gay perry. one good line was val kilmer's after he bitch-slaps harmony's father: "big tough guy." three words that represented a paragraph of explanation. now that's some swell writing. another aspect that makes this movie so entertaining is the narration by harry, one of the best movie narrations in my opinion, to the point that i believe robert downey jr narrated better than he acted (he even pauses and rewinds the film when he forgets to tell something). i dug the groovy cartoon opening credits. kudos go to the director, who gave this movie a fresh book-ish pulp-ish look. oh and by the way, if you are a guy, dont make "i will survive" your ringtone...
highly entertaining despite the lack of over-the-top sequences and super special effects or the not talky, artsy-fartsy philosophical/social/moral/spiritual messages.
the good: the narration, visual style, harmony.
the bad: the gayness. ugh
the ugly: the kissing part.
the verdict: 7 johnny gossamer novels.
skizz skizz, bang bang.
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