timestamp: a stellar birth on prime-earth

what: most. kickass. childbirth. ever.

where: st. patrick's hospital + palacio de lanting
when: february 5-8 2010
who: jaiskizzy (big daddy), jeeanfoxy (beautiful mommy), the world's greatest parents, parents-in-law, relatives and friends, the super doctor team hyperforce, single-serving nurses
why: cuteness equilibrium

day1/friday/february5: the new equation
400pm: it has been decided that jeean shall undergo cesarean section delivery the following day so all the bags of necessities that were starting to accumulate dust in the living room are finally loaded for transport. my mom, our househelp and i take the pregnant goddess to the hospital for mortals.
500pm: after squeezing the car to the tightest parking spot i have ever encountered, i carry our stuff (looking like a guy on a 1-year vacation all by himself) and head straight to 221, the room reserved for us, where i spend an awkward moment of silence and stares with two maintenance dudes. and then i receive the 5-second late text message that jeean and her mother-in-law are in the admitting office. anyways, i dont hate paperwork, paperwork hates me and i am very thankful that i have a wife to handle the sheetflow with her excellent penwomanship. glad i dont have to struggle with providing the requested information in hieroglyphics.
600pm: we hold fort in 221 and chill, literally because the air-conditioner seems like it was manufactured by eskimos. i am appointed legman and my first errand is to buy dinner: the infamous pulang pansit. (i accompanied the local pasta with some grilled pork, chicken and hotdog and proudly but silently beat the vendor's calculator in purchase computation). mom-in-law, my dad and sibs shortly arrive with their comestible contributions.
1000pm: my co-producer and i have the room to ourselves. the tv's on as background score to our conversation in dim. the sandman is out on a break, allowing us to talk about our daughter-to-be, how our relationship's tumultuous beginning segued into an awesome knot-tying and is now a page away from a new chapter entitled parenthood. finally, after nine months of pain and pee, clinic and food trips, kicks and hiccups, tears and cheers, and waiting and wailing, our wonderchild, our cherubic aesthete, our little cuddler, the amalgam of the best of our dna is about to exit the void and bombard our lives with immeasurable brighthappycuteawesomeness.
1100pm: the enceinte enchantress is asleep. her mondobizarro monsterhero is wide awake, lost in reverie. soon, his palpebrae superior and inferior reunite for the time being...

day2/saturday/february6: do babies dream of electric lambs?
600am: i am bathing diagonally in the narrow shower space. the plumbers must be eskimos as well because the water is goosebumpin' cold. cleansed, i put on my pink big daddy shirt (because im into that kind of shit, so what). after enjoying her warm water wash, jeean is dextrosed up by a nurse who is pregnant as well.
700am: the world's prettiest pregnant person is on a wheelchair. she is smiling but there is an apparent and understandable trepidation on her face. our mothers join the hallway parade toward the operating room. i remember many hospital scenes in movies where the gurney is pushed into the double doors and as they close, the leads have enough slow-mo time moment to stare at each other and wish for an oscar award. unless it's one where the significant other gets to be at patient's side but as much as i want to be with her the whole time like that, spousal support is prohibited inside. a while later, i return to the operating room entrance to give our digital camera to my sister who is a doctor and has a backstage pass.
730am: my psp reads game over for the nth time as i cant concentrate enough to advance through the game. i am number-twoing by the way, big time. it's as if all the excitement, worry and bonheur had been blendered together and turned into unstoppable poop. i then hear my doctorsister enter and bring the good news. my mom and mom-in-law race each other to see their first granddaughter while the baby's father struggles through his excremental ordeal. once done, he who sometimes enjoys referring to himself in the third person cleans himself up in haste.
800am: minitears fight for freedom but i impede their escape. flanked by two happy women on the verge of tears themselves, i am looking at a beautiful sleeping baby girl with full red lips and chubby cheeks wrapped in cloth. she is iaine sivela feona and she is my daughter and i am the happiest newfather that ever breathed. imagine all the books you want to read, all the dvds you want to watch, all the chocolate you want to eat, everything that can make you glad to be alive, imagine all are yours for free, for the rest of your life, that feeling is probably just half an atom of how it feels to see your child for the first time. i am speechless (as i am now, typing this) for the word that can exactly define the feeling has yet to exist. the only coherent thing to come out of my mouth was "hello, iaine."
830am: iaine's nascent pictures are already reaping comments on facebook. i am walking to the drugstore to buy our baby's milk. the minitears that demanded release? out they go, now that i am alone.
1100am: newmom returns to 221 half-conscious, in pain. she stays in rest mode as congratulators start coming in batches. each batch goes to the nursery to take a peep at iaine and i always tag along just to see her again. most of the time, the little cuddler is asleep but there are a few times she's crying in high pitch, displaying her singing prowess which she inherited from her mother. these visits sans physical contact are nice but not enough. i want to hold iaine real bad. jeean soon regains consciousness but she is not allowed to eat solids until she has passed gas. whenever everyone's eating, i don't so that jeean doesn't feel left out.
100pm: in a hole on the ground near our house, i put books, papers, pens and one of my drumsticks together with iaine's placenta as told by the elder believers. no harm in obliging.

day3/sunday/february7: this too shall pass
1200pm: with the catheter off, i escort my co-creator to the bathroom to take a leak. this is the part of motherhood i never had any idea of. i thought that after the nine-month challenge and the delivery drama, she'd be pirouetting by now. instead, it's a painful piss. she holds on to me and i wish i was the one in pain instead. a couple more trips to the toilet seat and her urinal anguish subsides to tolerable state.
200pm: jeean is recovering real quick. she can walk with minimal assistance. she's on a soft food diet, getting tired of the flavorless porridge. still no fart. (i cant believe i am actually waiting for my wife to fart). the continuous flow of visitors help hasten her recuperation. some flatulence and feces later, the goddess of all things cute and sexy is munching on mangoes.
900pm: our ob-gyne/wedding sponsor drops by to change jeean's gauze dressing and throw some great news: we can go home the next day. the bikini cut looks fine, nigh-invisible if not for the small stitches on the sides.

day4/monday/february8: homeward-bound
900am: the stuff we came in with has doubled and i am getting myself a tan and workout carrying all of it to the family car parked two blocks away. we're just waiting for the starter gun to fire so we can go and live our new life as a family of three independent of hospital control.
1000am: my optical floodgates open wide at the sight of iaine on the bed in front of me with no glass window between us. i used to dread this moment because movie scenes of a child being born kind make me tear up a bit and i was pretty sure that when i experience that moment it would be like all my nose hairs have been pulled out for everyone to see. but now i dont mind the onlookers seeing this hardened meat of a man rendered tender by his dreamy, dreaming daughter. let's go home, sweetheart.
1100am: my sisdoc and i are stuck in motionless car queue. we had taken a shortcut to steer clear of the regular midday traffic jam but thanks to the arrival of president darkmole evildwarf, we stumble upon roadblock after roadblock until we're back to square one of the route we've previously avoided. jeean and iaine are in separate vehicle, several gearshifts behind.
1200pm: home, sweetheart, home...


p.s. happy one-month, iaine...

one

what: most. kickass. wedding. ever.
where: basilica church + pastoral center, ciudad de balisong
when: august 1, 2009
who: jaiskizzy (the groom), jeeanfoxy (the bride), families, friends, unknowns
why: love.


800am: i wake up, put on outdoor clothes and sleepwalk to the nearest salon to have my much-anticipated (by everyone but me) haircut. it is still closed so i saunter off next door to my mother-side relatives' hangout spot and play with the kids for a while.
900am: i am inside the salon, sitting on a hydraulic chair, waiting for my turn. arianne the hairdresser is doing his magic (literally) on an old woman while some people are negotiating the price of his services and gown rental. some girl will be joining a beauty pageant in some faraway farmland's fiesta and her companions want her to look outrageously beautiful. i think what they need is a miracle. the girl is fat, fugly and bats are probably living in her nostrils. plus her supposed escort is a zombie. i silently thank the invisible unicorn king for the self-esteem boost.
1000am: my past-shoulder-length hair is being mowed down. with my spectacles off, the horrifying image of my decreasing mane is blurred on the mirror. but even so, i remember the big prom night scene in carrie and kinda feel the same way, minus the blood. at least samson was asleep when this happened to him.

1100am: i am back home, showering. bathroom floor is covered in bubbles because, forced by habit, i used the amount of shampoo i use for my late long hair on my new hair. as always, bathroom time is think time and several random thoughts fire up in my brain like popcorn: the tedious preparations are finally over, im leaving bachelorhood for good, cant wait to see what my bride looks like, what's gonna happen, et cetera.
1200pm: i am driving towards the ponte fino, wearing a hooded shirt to hide my haircut until the big reveal. jeean and i text and call each other occasionally to prevent any path-crossings. as i am about to turn right at don ramos, i realize i've forgotten the red bandana i need for our first dance. i head back home and find out that jeean's bridal car (c/o of papang) has arrived. we've been told it would be the cefiro, anything was okay with us actually, but im looking at the one we had wished for secretly. i retrieve the bandana and keep the surprise to myself.
100pm: i am at the hotel lobby, gradually attaining complete ennui. only one room is currently available and jeean is in there having herself made up. two more rooms will be vacant soon and i sulk in a lounge chair, watching a kid waste dslr specs on a bland table ornament. my friends from manila arrive but because i have no room to put them in and i am prohibited to leave the premises, i send them off to sm batangas to have lunch and murder a few minutes.
200pm: six men in a hotel room and it's not a stag party: me, pol, randell and a camera crew determined to get me posing. after late lunching on adobo, rice and jolly hotdog, the guy who has only one pair of shoes for everyday use metamorphoses into a long-suited, clean-shaven gentleman, at least externally; the photography session ends up with me jumping on the bed. the tailor-made suit set feels good on me not only because it's exactly the way i wanted it to be, it's like my golden fleece. i'm 11 times cooler just by wearing it.
300pm: it's raining and everybody's scrambling to the church. i jump into the family car and lose my chance of having any physical contact with the awesome bridal car. when we arrive at the church, a crowd of kids and adults in wedding attire is just beginning to bunch up near the entrance. people expecting my jesus christ look are shocked at my new guise and my favorite baby niece who cries when i leave doesn't even recognize me. i look at the aisle and see the first few meters of the new journey of my life.
400pm: i am at the other end of the aisle and all our eyes are on the entrance doors. this is my cad goddeu. from a badass-looking hummer, an angel has appeared to bless us with her heavenly beauty. ive been an agnostic ever since catholic school but this is one of those very rare moments were i question my non-belief and reconsider god's existence because only that powerful guy on the ultradistant second floor could create such a being of endless wonderment. gianina, my fulcrum, my utopia, my perfect bride. i feel weird, like im in a movie and this is the part where everything is in slow-mo. i am goosebumping all over. my mother-in-law-to-be's tears are contagious. my beloved and i stand before the altar and the riddle of love is finally solved.

500pm: there was a blog post i never finished about how life was a long road and that during our trip, we meet people who walk with us or run with us, sometimes carry us, overtake us, until we all arrive, though at different times, at the one destination we're all headed. jeean and i aren't ready to go home just yet. hands together, we've taken a detour to a road we've never been to before and even if we've been told that this particular path won't be easy to take, but im sure we'll get through it just fine. the i do's have been traded, the bands worn, the kiss displayed.


9 post-wedding highlights:
1. mafia-inspire entourage came into the reception venue in associative music. when it was our turn, my bride sang "if i ain't got you" by alicia keys. some had to be told that it was live.
2. instead of the bouquet, a bunch of roses were thrown at the "hopefuls" and the one without a flower in her hands was the lucky lady to wear the garter.
3. the much-awaited "rock baby rock" clan dance brought the house down, especially with my bride's parents joined in
4. the downed house was crumbled to dust when our supposedly traditional first dance turned into a dance medley of sorts (with a quick hayden-katrina thingy squeezed in), thanks to one hour of perspiration-filled practice of steps aided by youtube.
5. the photobooth didn't get any rest.
6. my father got us all worried when word broke out about his missing wallet, which he found in the pair of pants he left at home.
7. jeean and i came home to falling money and confetti, which became garnish to the kalamay we had to eat.
8. we counted the cash we collected and was quite pleased with the sum (but not thoroughly as we had to turn everything over to my mom for safekeeping).
9. there was a lot of back-and-forth walking in the ponte fino hallway because our immediate families were shacked in five rooms and everyone was in no hurry to slumber. after one tiresome month of preparations and one exciting day of wedding, my wife and i finally get the relaxation we've long longed for.

i could not have wished for a better way to get married or a better woman to get married to. i am a man, i am in love, and goshdarnit, i am very, very happy. very.

up next: parenthood.