Monday, May 07, 2007

SPIDER-MAN 3 by jaiskizzy

the gist: lotta stuff going on in this spiderific second sequel, true believers. things are doing peachy fine for our friendly neighborhood spidey. the people of new york that once despised him now worship our wall-crawling wonder, and his relationship with mary jane is swinging sky high and he wants to marry her. but of course, that aint gonna last in a film like this. i mean, what's a superhero movie without supervillains? enter the new goblin: harry osborn following his father's fiendish footsteps. enter sandman: (where's metallica anyway?) flint marko who takes on a life of crime to save his sick daughter and gains the power to become sand. enter venom: eddie brock, the new hostile host to the symbiote that our hero once owned (or owned our hero, i guess). peter parker's got his hands full this time, eh? will spider-man outwit, outlast, and outweb his way out of this outstandingly? will more alliterations appear again? 'nuff said. on with the review!

the reaction: i remember back in high school during a boring class drawing spider-man on a page of my notebook having six hands, the three on right clinging onto an invisible wall, the three on the left shooting web. what made this drawing stupid though is that all arms had the costume on them. that it would seem that peter parker had actually sewn up a costume accommodating all six of his arms. crazy. anyways, i don't think we'll be seeing a six-armed spidey in a movie any time soon. before, i also thought that my favorite spider-man villain, venom, wouldn't be showing up for a while, but when they announced a part three and that venom would be in it, i was so ecstatic that i would have reserved a ticket right then. i mean, seriously, folks, venom made spider-man 3 double cool and in a way he was the movie's saving grace (played by topher grace). don't get me wrong. i liked the movie. it's good and really not as bad as a lot of people say so. however, it hurts to type this, it's the least i like among the three. i have no idea what happened but sam raimi just failed to surpass his previous attempts. he merely gave us a spider-man movie. that's it. well, that is what everybody wants but of course, once you've upped the ante, you have to keep the ante up. and it doesnt necessarily mean having three villains. sure, it's a great challenge for spidey, but i honestly think that venom alone could have sufficed. they should have just left out the sandman plot entirely and gave the space to the venom.

well, okay, thomas haden church acted really well, so did the rest of them, especially tobey maguire, but i just felt like it could have worked better without him. the sandman effects weren't even that blow-away good. and they shouldn't have messed up uncle ben's death just to connect him more to peter. that's like the death of batman's parents or the explosion of planet krypton. we got it. we like it the way it is. move along. harry osborn's revenge arc was way better than that. the inclusion of gwen stacy is also well accepted since she played an integral part of peter's life issues in and out of the costume. bryce dallas howard's bubbliness cast quite a shadow over the always mediocre kirsten dunst. i'd be glad to see a different and better-looking actress play mary jane in the next sequels. i mean, come on, she's even named mary jane, for chrissakes. she's supposed to make you high.

okay, let's talk about venom again, beginning with the symbiote. i like how it just came from space with no explanation and coincidentally landing near peter and mary jane's makeshift make out motel. i like the cg on the symbiote. it looked like it was really real. i like the black costume despite not being totally black and having a white spider like in the comics. i like peter parker's emo mode. ive heard many gripes about this one, how it looked a bit goofy, what with peter pistol-fingering ladies on the street and doing a dance number a la the mask, but i completely understood what he was going through (i had recently gotten a haircut that lifted up my confidence a bit). i like eddie brock's plot. i like venom's design even though the slimy tongue was absent. i like how they used topher grace's unaltered voice when venom speaks. i just wish there was more venom. i'd have paid triple just for a longer, meaner one-on-one between spidey and venom. anyways, another thing that deserves praise about this movie are the sound effects. the punches, the metallic hits, and yeah, even sandman's sand sounds, awesome. and, of course, it would be a crime not to mention bruce campbell's hilarious cameo and the always funny j. jonah jameson. classic.

it maybe flawed and topsy-turvy, but i still loved it. the mere fact that the spider-man i used to only read in comics, draw on paper, and watch in cartoons continues to conquer cinemas causes me immense geeky happiness. i just hope that sam raimi or whoever will come on board in his place if ever does their homework on the next one. time for spider-man 4, baby!

the good: the cast (except for the dunst), the comedy, and venom.
the bad: sandman.
the ugly: two-face!
the verdict: 8 pumpkin bombs.


your friendless neighborhood spider-skiz.

tequila mockingbird


i implore you to consider my latest endeavor at poetry, conceived while on a jeepney, trying to make someone feel better with some hugging. i think it worked.

hug.

i feel

tears on my shirt
your cheek trembling.

what does my heart say?


your hair smells holy.

i see
the mole on your back
your shivering shoulder

my exit.

where's the pause button?

let's die like this.

anyways, here's my spider-man 3 review. go read it, tiger.

p.s. excuse me, but they're called rest days because one's supposed to rest on those days and not work one bit. i already gave you five for the week. let me keep the remaining two in peace. darn you.
p.p.s. i recently had a haircut. people say i look like im still a virgin.