yearbender

okefenokee, while everyone else is posting resolutions or year-ender recaps, i'll rub against the grain and give you some random stuff i like. first up is an amazing video of martin scorsese channeling lord alfred hitchcock:



here's one more cool-ass video but it's quite big so you'll have to download all 100megabytes of it here. it's called "prey alone" and was shot entirely on a green screen. gazillions way better than any pinoy movie that ever used cgi, not just effects-wise but storywise as well. trust me. it's goddarn good.

and finally, a bit of education on photography:

that's it for this year. cue obligatory greeting:

happy new year, girls and boys! may 2008 be one big unending orgasm for all of us.

p.s. m, congratulations on your newborn baby boy zy! he's all your cuteness miniaturized. good luck on single momhood. i nominate myself as a godfather!
p.p.s. darn i want a baby son, too. or better yet, twins.

skin the copycats

belated merry christmas, everyone.

i wonder how the supposed atheists spent christmas? surely it would have just been an ordinary day for them. no greetings or celebration of any kind, no giving or receiving of gifts since that day is believed to be the birth of the very being they refuse to believe in. unless, of course, they're just pretentious fucks with labels.

anyways, as always, whenever the holidays come, the manila film fest tags along and carries with it a new batch of the same old shit from the previous years. i wouldn't be surprised if next year, there's another enteng kabisote, mano po, shake rattle and roll and a cgi-ridden bong revilla movie. but before i go on, there's a quick piece from an american movie review web site regarding resiklo which i've copy-pasted below:

Filipino film doesn’t get a lot of love outside the Philippines these days and while there’s generally a very good reason for that – most of it is, shall we say, ungood – there are pockets of very serious talent there and also a willingness to just plain get goofy. This is one of the goofy ones. See the man all big and large in the poster? Yeah, he’s the main character. He drives the giant robot you see standing behind them all. And he’s also an actual, sitting senator in the Filipino government. I say if we settled all future political disputes with giant robot battles the world would be a better place.

goofy. you know what else is goofy? hollywood b-movies. which i'd no questions asked watch instead. what the dude who wrote that failed to point out though was the ripoff. i mean, was there a pinoy movie with giant cgi robots fighting in it before the transformers movie? no. (anyone remember robot jox, btw?) so, it's quite obvious that they're complete morons just waiting for the next hollywood blockbuster to steal ideas from. heck, even the same font was used. im pretty sure the robbery doesn't end there but im not sacrificing my intelligence by watching it just to find out. if resiklo is tagalog for recycle then i would like to commend them for such an appropriate title for a movie that recycled ideas from hollywood.

also, remember the desperate housewives issue, the overreaction, the call for boycott and public apology? i didnt care much about it. it's a comedy series and that thing about med school, it's true anyway. so, i really couldn't see why they would throw rocks at that show. now lookie here, folks! there's a movie coming out entitled desperadas. dont know what it's about but just by the title and the poster alone, one could tell that they just ripped off the very show that had allegedly ridiculed us filipinos. wow.

how do these people get away with this? because people watch them. they stampede the theaters blindly. they watch not as smart moviegoers but as die-hard fans of their idols. if it was two hours of judy ann santos picking her nose, they'd still watch it and tell everyone it's great while coming out of the theater on those stupid tv commercials. i really dont blame them. they're not dumb. it's these movies that are making them dumb.

roll end credits.

p.s. how do you marry an atheist?
p.p.s. im agnostic.

fork in the road

first, my very late hitman movie review: the hitman video game franchise is one of my favorites because it's not just your usual button-mashing, shoot-everything-in-sight first-person adventure. it's a game of tactics and stealth, and completion of the mission requires precision and consideration of every option before making a decision for a slight miscalculation means a bad situation. waha. anyways... (read full review)

okay, on to the main event...

it's been said nth times but mostly about recent breakups: nothing lasts forever. however this one is about my job. you see, for the past few weeks, the number of files we've done were diminishing. partly, we're being blamed for it because the quality of our work has decreased but that is because there's not enough transcriptionists and there's so much work to be done that we do them as fast as we come just to beat the deadline. the big chunk of the problem was caused by the writers' strike. without writers writing, there's no tv shows or movies for us to transcribe. and so what began as a rumor turned out to be true, there would be some downsizing needed. all our heads are on the chopping block. it's either we put our lives on the company's hands and let them transfer us to another account or we pack our stuff and hit the road. i completely understand them helping us out with the account transfer but even that is a big question mark. the only openings within the company are voice accounts, which i have a problem with. i had specifically applied for a non-voice position because i was not born to speak and i just dont think i'd do any good if i get transferred to do calls. they tell us that the transfer is advantageous, voice accounts have a higher salary. but how can you look forward to something you don't want to do and even if you did, you're not sure you're gonna get? they will re-train us but if you fail, you earn a warning. get enough warnings and you're fired. there is still a chance that they might keep some of us in our account but even that poses problems because it would only mean that the ones left behind would have to do double the workload.

i know they're doing this for the betterment of all but we just can't help being negative. (-1) this was not our fault and yet we're the ones to suffer most. (-2) we feel like sitting ducks waiting to be shot and (-3) we dont want to cut our friendships short. we pointed out a lot of things during meetings and suggested other options but we were talking to deaf ears. they used their boss powers. it's a take it or leave it situation. damn it. so now, i dont know what to do. shit, i don't know how to finish this post, even. dilemmas, dilemmas. hmmmm...

?

p.s. i've been to neverland and had manic mondays. i've met a martian and caught a butterfly. i've passed through penny lane and came running home. now, which one should i do next: learn how to kill a mockingbird or how to play the guitar? (sorry if it doesn't make sense.)

HITMAN by jaiskizzy

the gist: when bret hart decided to quit wrestling.... (just kidding) when it comes to assassins-for-hire, 47 is #1. raised by a secret organization known as... the organization (it was the agency in the game) to become the perfect killer, he never misses a target and always gets away clean. however on a mission to kill the russian president, things don't go as planned. it seems his peeps have turned against him, putting our bald-headed anti-hero out on the run from the interpol and the fsb and against other nameless agents, with a hot babe who hates clothes tagging along. did you notice there are zero alliterations on the synopsis?

the reaction: the hitman video game franchise is one of my favorites because it's not just your usual button-mashing, shoot-everything-in-sight first-person adventure. it's a game of tactics and stealth and completion of the mission requires precision and consideration of every option before making a decision for a slight miscalculation means a bad situation. waha. anyways, with the previous videogame-to-movie flops, one would normally think that the filmmakers would exert extra effort to do really well because the audience could only have high expectations at this point. you can't make a movie that's just good. it has to be really, really great to please the fans and non-fans alike. with hitman, i feel like they didn't actually try to make a hitman movie. they were instead trying to make the next big action flick, took some inspirations from the game and slapped that title on it and waited for the cash to flow in. they barely paid respect to the source material. so, is it good or bad? let us begin with the negatives.

the biggest mistake of this movie is timothy olyphant. he just does not fit the role. when casting rumors began, fanboys were unitedly screaming only one name: jason statham. after seeing him in transporter, he was agent 47 for me. all he needed was the red tie. i dont know what happened but they picked timothy olyphant instead. the movie kinda lost it right there. sure, he's a good actor but he just does not look and feel like agent 47. i mean, vin diesel was also considered at one point and i would have liked vinny over timmy. why? because he just didn't have the eyes of a killer. granted he was able to pull off how agent 47 moved, walked, talked (must have watched game clips over and over) but he didn't get the eyes. he never looked like a cold-blooded assassin at all. well, there was one scene where he had a menacing expression going on while choking an enemy, but that seemed like trying too hard. which brings me to the second biggest mistake of this movie: it was too actiony.

anyone who has seen the bourne movies would notice a lot of similarities. well, the premise was the same, a whole secret organization against one guy who is good at killing people. but it didn't mean it had to go the same direction. as mention above, the hitman games were about stealth and precision. you're supposed to be a ghost. anyone who has seen you are already dead. but in this movie, agent 47 is all over the place. he's out walking in crowds. he's bald and he's got a barcode tattoo on the back of his head. how am i supposed to believe that he won't stand out? and then in one really stupid scene, he kung fu fights a bunch of guys. fucking kung fu. with swords. instead of sneaking up on enemies and using piano wire (my favorite method) he does a jet li. ridiculous. the script is lame and complicated at the same time. they should have began with agent 47 doing several hits before going to the main plot. plus if you don't listen carefully, you won't get what's going on. i mean, me, i understood it and it thought it was messed-up writing. for the pinoy moviegoers who rely more on visuals, the film is gonna be tough to swallow.

okay, on the other end of the barrel, you got a few good things that prevented hitman from becoming a total disaster. numero uno, the game elements that they put in the movie. they were few and far in between but they were cool nonetheless. from the look of agent 47 to his body language, diana, hiding weapons, hiding bodies, disguises, the logo, they were pretty nice nods. soundtrackwise, the movie began with the game's original ave maria theme but that's about it. props to robert knepper as well who played yuri. that bathtub was such a t-bag moment. but the best part of the movie was nika. she's not the most beautiful actress you've seen, but she was more than enough to provide the obligatory t&a (and exactly t&a). no sex scene, but that crotch rub she did will forever be stored in the fantasy vault of my brain.

i paid to see one of my favorite video games come alive on the silverscreen and instead saw an ill-executed bourne wannabe. i am very disappointed and could only hope that the next videogame-to-movie endeavors do better. way better. you know, i've always thought that you can't do a bad movie with the right ingredients - bullets, blood and boobs. consider this reviewer wrong on that one.

the good: the nods to the game, t-bag and nika (rrrrr).
the bad: the execution.
the ugly: timotht olyphant as agent 47.
the verdict: 3 barcode tattoos.


agent 69.

nevermind

i like you.
if you like me back, i don't know.
but im assuming you don't because im not picking up any signals.
right now, you're a bit lonely.
im torn between asking you out and not asking you out.
i dont want you and everybody else to think im taking advantage of the situation.
and i have a genuine fear of rejection. (again.)
in fact, i already have an idea of what you're gonna say.
you'll make it sound nice
but it won't sound nice.
or maybe by a weird twist of destiny, you'd say yes
and we'd be sharing ice cream on one cone soon.
i don't know.
all i know right now is that i like you
and that im afraid to lose you.

p.s. who are you? your name has an L.
p.p.s. this didnt go as well as i thought, but what the heck...

speak of the daredevil

first, a quickie rant on the word "uber".

there goes a word i could never use again. it's been faggotized. now, girls who have never known its existence before are blurting it out in every instance possible. it's painful. just like the word "gay" which meant "happy and cheerful" once and has become just "a dude who likes other dudes", uber is now "i'd use 'very' but i'm socially compelled to use this to be in". oh, shut up.

anyways, he may be outside my monkeysphere, but it's sad to know that death has caught up with the guy who has eluded him for so many years: evel knievel. as a kid, i've watched him ride that motorcycle and jump over cars, buses and even sharks, through my dad. and it was only recently that i had this hope of doing a bike stunt myself one day. so it's kinda weird to find out about this when i was merely looking for the pic of the new kitt. now, robert craig "evel" knievel jr has left the cape on the rack, the bike in the garage for he has flown off the ramp to never come down again. rest in peace, sir.

p.s. i don't know why but it seems like every december i feel like i have to make a choice whether to grow my hair long again or have it all shaved off again. hmm.
p. p.s. has anyone seen the 2 girls 1 cup video?!