thar she blows!

nope. this isn't about pirates or piracy (whichever definition) nor is this about porn either. this one is about a question that has been poking at my neurons for a long time. and despite the hilarity of the premise, it is a very serious question that must be considered.

the backstory: morning rush hour. picture yourself on your way to a very important appointment. let's say that it is an interview for a job so life-changing that you need to be there and be there on time. but for some reason, you have to use public transport. for this exercise, let's use the mrt (because i ride that every day). your car's broken, license is expired, no one can drive you to your destination on such short notice, whatever. you're taking the mrt. picture yourself dressed to nines. let's use male pov. new long sleeves tucked in, shiny belt buckle, polished shoes, clean cut hair, shaved face, you don't even want to sit and wrinkle your pants. you know you have a 99% chance of nailing the job. you just have to go through this final one-on-one looking, sounding, smelling and being your best.

the sitch: standing in front of you is beautiful woman (handsome man if you're using the female pov) who looks like she's on her way home from an all-nighter party. she's holding on to the poles to stay upright. she looks like she'll pass out any minute. you realize the inevitable but you can't move in this sardine can. you hear her stomach turn over. you close your eyes as she hurls everything she ate and drank at you. her mouth is a barf geyser. you are immediately drenched by her stinky, sticky, chunky vomit. after the pukefest, the girl faints. the people who were previously standing so close around you are now miles away.

the question: what are you going to do?



p.s. nope this didn't happen to me. but i once rode in a bus and some kid puked and a small amount caught my shoe. i also almost always imagine a person on the back row of the bus vomiting on the person in front of them and then that person would then vomit on the person in front and so on and so on. vomit domino. vomino.