clear?

last week, while walking around the mall to kill time before watching the dark knight, i happened upon an idea for a commercial. so, i download trailers of batman begins, the dark knight and american psycho from youtube and edited it on top of the original commercial's audio using adobe premiere. the result:

the sweetest sin

my bed is an island.

we are but two survivors of crashing lives, of invisible scars and reckless lies, swept to find solace under the sheets. i am happy to be stuck here with you. i will not build a fire so no one will find us to rescue us and pull us apart. our love shall keep us warm. both heads in one pillow, i stare into your eyes and get lost in a prurient trance.

behind your lips lies a world beyond words, i desire to be its ruler. i will wage wars for your skin and make it my kingdom and conquer the haven between your thighs...

and then time stops stopping for us and the twilight arrives. you turn to leave as you've sinned enough for one day. your kiss on my cheek where a tear just passed is the perfect conclusion to this fantasy. alone in my bed, naked and infected, i lie in eternal wait.

my bed is our island. in the middle of a sea where the dreaming ends and reality begins.

THE DARK KNIGHT by jaiskizzy

"slaughter is the best medicine"

the gist: ever since batman began, gotham city's crime rate is on a dwindle with evildoers rainchecking their evildoings at the sight of the bat signal and mobsters holding their prayer meetings during the day. and with the people's paladin, harvey dent, on his side, future-commissioner gordon can't help but wear a happy smile under his 'stache. as the batman disposes of his posers (instead of posting bulletins on friendster), some nutjob who flunked cosmetic school and chose a career in carnage intrudes and offers his insights for a better gotham. for a guy named joker, he ain't funny at all.

i've always thought that tim burton's vision of batman was ok. eventhough it looked like batman might start singing and pirouetting any moment, the first two films were dark and gothic and i liked it. then came joel schumacher who gayified the franchise by adding colors like pink, corny oneliners and bat nipples (but not on batgirl). for that, he will never be forgiven. so, thank holy heavens for christopher nolan for putting the man back in batman and bringing him into the real world. great director. memento remains one of my favorite films ever. this dude is like a hollywood jesus who took the diseased caped crusader and cured him. batman begins was just a taste of what he could do with the material. with the origin story done with, he could take the bat wherever he wanted and he took the dark knight to masterpiece territory. his directorial decisions were perfect, turning the movie into more of a noir crime film than a flashy superhero movie, with great characters, pacing, action, tension, drama, dialogue, all in one two-hour short presentation. and there's no dragging, tearjerker funeral for the death of a major character. i like that. forget not, of course, his bro, jonathan, a huge part of the genius of nolan's movies for his amazing screenwriting powers. darn these nolans.

i'll strike the below-zero first because there's only one and it goes by the name of maggie gyllenhaal. she's a fine actress, yes, liked her in secretary, but she just failed to be rachel dawes, a character invented for the franchise to replace vicki vale. she just destroyed any possibility of ms. dawes being added into the batman comic canon. she's not ugly, but compared to mrs. cruise, she is. it's an olive oyl syndrome. watching her be torn between bruce wayne and harvey dent was like watching popeye and bluto fight over that ugly bitch. you just don't get why. maybe she gives good head? i dont know. but anyways...

christian bale is an amazing bruce wayne. he's a good batman, but i've always believed michael keaton played the dichotomy better. bale's lips looked weird when he spake as batman. dont know if it's supposed to be an effect of the voice enhancer but it seemed like had too much love for lip readers. the costume looks fine btw. finally solved that head-turning issue. anyways, who the heck is aaron eckhart? give this guy a medal. what a great harvey dent he was, especially when he became two-face. give another medal to the guy who made two-face's gross half like that. that shit is nasty. i had flashbacks of skinned goats hanging in the kitchen during fiesta in my grandparents' house. awesome. the perfect casting of gary oldman as jim gordon is proven even more in this sequel, as he isnt a minor character anymore. do you know the name of the fat dude in the other batman movies? no? me neither. anyways, there's this scene where batman, gordon and dent are forging an alliance on the bat signal rooftop which is lifted directly from the long halloween and that was just amazing.

now, the late heath ledger as joker... first, great that the joker doesnt have an origin. in the comics, the joker is so insane that he himself can't tell which past in his mind is real (he prefers multiple choice, the killing joke). that concept was realized nicely in the movie, with joker telling different stories on how he got his ichi-the-killer inspired scars. anyways, back to heath. just about every superlative and hyperbole has been used on his performance and it deserves every one of them. unlike batman who gets to be bruce wayne/christian bale, he was in joker makeup almost the whole time because he was not heath ledger anymore. he was just the joker. every flick of his tongue and roll of his eye, every fidget and every word he says, topnotch. i still hold firm that mark hamill did the definitive joker voice but heath ledger is joker in the flesh. that is one hard portrayal to match, let alone beat, if they ever decide to make a part three and bring the clown prince of crime back. if they do, i nominate either javier bardem or joseph gordon-levitt (just because he looks like heath). put harley quinn in and i'll buy a ticket right now.

no surprise that the dark knight is kicking ass outside of the movie world, breaking box office records like bones. the film is so great it has been lined up with the classics heat and the godfather 2. i couldn't agree more. the dark knight blew me away more than all of my exgfs did.


the good: the whole movie except...
the bad: maggie gyllenhaal.
the ugly: ditto.
the verdict: 10 disappearing pencils.


the dork knight.
(or the choker. this review is for my harley quinn.)

cloud mine

this is my blog's word cloud:um...that's it. thanks, wordle.

THE DARK KNIGHT by jeeanfoxy

so what if it's another batman movie? its the best one yet!

things get more comic-y this time around, unlike in Batman Begins where the darkness and dragging storyline consumed me more than the good parts did. in the first one i kept thinking "o tapos? ano ngayon? so? ang tagal! flashback na naman? ano ba tlg?" ...and needless to say batman's props looked like crap. boo.

the dark knight presented a totally different perspective of what a batman movie should be. it was obviously done excellently from start to finish, and i bet even the split-second scenes took time to get right. the car chases were a bit dizzying but satisfying nonetheless. and here's a big plus: the hunky christian bale in his upgraded batman getup loaded with way cooler gadgets that will keep your head spinning all thoughout the movie.

and here go the minuses. (1) a very un-lengthy exposure of a villain (no, not the Joker). (2) maggie gyllenhaal's fugliness kept me distracted and detached from her Rachel Daws character. miscast. bigtime. and um... (3) batman isn't a hero? o.O

and now we come to Heath Andrew. Heath "Sayang ka bakit ka namatay" Andrew Ledger. his performace deserves an Oscar, no doubt about it. no one else could have played the role of The Joker better. heathie, may you rest in peace, drug-free.

the dark knight kept me at the edge of my seat. i'm the type of person who gets bored quite easily, but with TDK, i had my eyes glued to the screen from start to finish. the movie was quite long but it didn't fuckin matter...! the dark knight rules. boom. box office.

watch it, you low lives. here's my analogy: for the girls, it's better than chocolates and flowers on top of a box filled with havaianas. for the guys, it's better than your favorite porn.

xoxo
JeeanHatesMaggieGyllenhaal

profondo paradiso

pretend this was us and not something i googled up.

it was supposed to be an ordinary [bleep]day for me and my jellybean; she, trying to absorb a lecture, and me, running out of things to do at home. but nay, we can't settle for another mundane day away from each other. so i gassed up the car, picked her up and we decided to hold up a jollibee, because no one's ever done it and pointing a gun at that effeminate giant insect must feel good. however, traffic was quite heavy in our prospective direction so we u-turned and just went to the beach instead. right choice.

after about an hour of talking, singing, laughing, driving with one hand because i was holding hers with the other, buying a footlong sandwich and contemplating what it would be like to have a penis of that length (just one more inch, dammit), we arrived at the place that seemingly had been reserved for us because we had it all to ourselves. money switched palms and we immediately undressed near the car to reveal our swim garb underneath, much to each other's delight, mostly mine due to the small black pieces of cloth with strings covering her oh-so-wonderful treasure chest. with her porcelain skin and curves at the proper areas, i think i lost the ability to control my saliva flow and was wet before i even hit the water.

we first dipped our heavenly bodies (okay, only hers) into the pool and stayed there for quite a while. my sexy fair lady knew how to swim but she refused my requests to show off her butterfly and backstroke. insert breaststroke joke here. i was underwater most of the time, admiring her luscious legs, hoping my lenses remained in my eyes. we kissed, we hugged, we had a lot of fun especially when it got silly. there's this stupid dance step i do to a boy band song and we found out that it's not advisable to do it in a pool. we did bullet-time sequences and she was in stitches when i performed a multiple kick move. i always love how she laughs. i tried teaching her this water-squirting thing i can do with my hands but she just can't do it. nobody else can. nobody.

wouldn't it be cool if like, there was a way you could go from the pool to the sea without leaving the water? anyways, we headed to the shore and soaked in the warm liquid salt. with no one else in the water, we felt like we owned everything up to the edge of the horizon. i watched her be scared of the waves like a kid. the waves werent that big but they assaulted her nonetheless. a priceless moment, and i knew i am truly in love with her. a shark could come by and bite my head off and i would die happy.

people started to pour in as we turned to the showers and there's a part of this story that i have to skip but i'll just say that it involves a door without a lock. we dressed, drove home and danced in the car. it was a perfect day until i fucked up a bit in the end. darn bicyclist. anyways, overall, it was a great first real date, the best ever i've had so far, a memory meant to be reminisced over and over again. the gods envied us that day.

may the fates who have brought us together conspire to pave a promising future for us so that we'll hope no more and just be.

i love you, love.


p.s. so screw me.

you want more fans, i want more stage

1. Go here. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go here. The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

If you want to do this again, you'll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3. Go here. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Go here. The first ten links you end up in (minus the .coms) are your 10 song titles.

the results:

my band's name:
curry village

album title:
most people never listen

cover:

songs:
roy's world
temple university
under a dying sun
bring back knightmare
fairweather
i'm scared
fall inside
security distro
move on
tremble (if you don't have a rat, you can't be one of us)


p.s. thanks, fox.

stampede

i woke up tonight with tears in my eyes and shoeprints on my shirt. but the invisible stains are harder to clean.

i feel like i've been chasing my own shadow.

what doesn't kill you makes you stranger? perhaps. or maybe i am already dead. i just don't know it.

i need emotional surgery.

p.s. yes. it doesnt make sense.

WANTED by jaiskizzy

the gist: office pawn wesley is fed up with his life in a cubicle. he takes anti-anxiety pills to calm himself down from smashing the pc monitor into a co-worker's face. turns out that his high anxiety means something: his father who left him when he was a week old is actually one of the best assassins in town. a group of assassins called the fraternity, complete with hazing initiation, wants him to be part of their payroll. they send angelina jolie to "recruit" him, which is a great decision since it's pretty hard to say no to her. cue the bon jovi song and let the bullets fly!

i had a very similar movie plot years ago which is now worthless because it's gonna look like i ripped off wanted. boo-hoo. the moment i saw the bullets hitting each other in the trailer, i was like, there goes one of my script ideas blown to smithereens. anyways, when i heard that the director of wanted was the russian guy who directed the russian film nightwatch, i knew there was something spectacular to look forward to this movie. nightwatch and its sequel daywatch were absurd but visually cool films and the director has brought his unique style to hollywood. wanted will make you question physics while wearing a tent in your pants. and i aint even talking about angelina jolie yet. without giving anything away, you have never seen wanted's action scenes in any other action movie.

moving on to mrs. pitt. i would watch any movie with angeline jolie shooting a gun. that woman is badass. she doesnt hold a gun like a girl. i won't be surprised if she's an actual hitwoman in real life. if i were to be killed by an assassin, i would wish it was her, naked, and biting her lower lip when she pulls the trigger. james mcavoy was kind of a hit-and-miss (damned puns). him as wesley the wuss didnt work for me and felt like he was channeling shia labeouf a bit. he was good as the badass bulleteer though.

cant say the same thing about morgan freeman. he's a great actor but he just didnt belong in this movie. i think they were supposed to get samuel l. jackson but he was too busy doing motherfucker speeches in colleges so they opted for morgan instead who acted like he was still the president of the united states of america in deep impact. and since we're on the gripe train already... there were way too many slow-mos that this movie would have probably been half an hour shorter if those scenes had run at normal speed. i mean, okay, we got it the first time, to make the bullet curve, you have to shoot the gun with an arm sweep. it doesnt have to be slow-moed every single time someone does it.

i have several reasons to hate this movie (some aren't even about the movie) but overall i enjoyed the shootout show. word's out that the studios want a sequel but i cant imagine one without angelina. maybe she has a twin sister?

the good: the story, the direction and the hot chick with great lips.
the bad: james mcavoy in the first quarter, slow-mo overkill, and the predictable ending.
the ugly: morgan freeman after he says "oh, fuck."
the verdict: 7 letter-u-substitute teeth.


unwanted.

WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY by jaiskizzy

the gist: some guy named zia decides to clean his room up and then slash his wrists with a razor. apparently, when you "off" yourself (commit suicide, yo), you end up in an afterlife world much like ours except it is so dull and everything's been slightly desaturated in photoshop. there he meets eugene who helps him search for his girlfriend, who supposedly killed herself too, and they both bump into a chick who wants to find the people in charge of that world. what a weird and cute lil movie.

i almost offed myself during my angsty years but i couldnt pull the trigger then so there's no way i can confirm if such a dimension exists for suicidals. the emo people surely would love that though. this movie however aint got no shade of emo on it at all. so, dont go owning the movie just because of the title, you sidecombed freaks. anyways, wristcutters is pretty much a journey movie where a guy and his friend hits the road on a quest of some sort and stumbles upon various stuff and people along the way. zia and the moustached dude have great non-chemistry and it's fun to watch them be friends but not really. add in the odd chick who likes to mess up with signs and you've got a trio of misfits who are and arent better off together at the same time. am i making any sense?

the dude who played zia looked familiar, i couldnt quite remember where i've seen him and am too lazy to check imdb. but he's okay, the role didnt call for anything special really. he got to kiss leslie bibb though, so he's pretty lucky. the dude who played the moustached dude though was great. i actually thought he was eugene hutz (the musician that the character was based on). the odd chick was so-so, she's not really on my list of favorite actresses and i would have liked someone beautifuler but she did fine. and then there was...will arnett?!

i'll "cut" this review short and simply say that it's a good film to watch to pass time, not when you want something to pump up your pulse rate or if you have a sibling who believes my chemical romance's music is music.

the good: the premise.
the bad: unconvincing clumsiness.
the ugly: used-condom beach.
the verdict: 6 floorboard blackholes.


templeshooter.

the square root of tears

jackpot wrote me a poem:

skip counting

how can one feel neglected
if that's not what two intended?

she tried real hard to mend it
took her time to spend it
like the shadow at his feet
she relentlessly had to repeat
what made them fall in love at first
and how they are haunted by their worst
she was too easy
to cry like a baby
but she never cared
no, she never cared
one walked the old road of solitude
maintained his unfaltering attitude
with blistered feet she caught him
with a loss for breath she held him
but he never cared
no, he never cared

what is two to do
when one can't handle three?

so i wrote her one as well:

pseudoku

hand-clasped lovers in front of me,
we too would be eventually.
i must ignore my misery
and wait a little longer.

hours pass and pages fly,
i find you with another guy.
i must control my urge to cry
and be a little stronger.

i need to go. dont fail me, feet.
be brave to walk an endless street.
i must accept my brief defeat
and push a little further.

aching legs and heaving chest,
i know i've done my very best.
i must allow my heart to rest
and dream a little murder...