the gist: in this swashbucklin sequel to the curse of the black pearl, the talented mr. johnny depp returns as the peculiar pirate and antihero of the high seas, jack sparrow. pardon me... captain jack sparrow. legolas/will turner and his hottie wife-to-be, keira knightley, are need to find him to save their necks from the gallows, he, on the other hand is looking for a key which would open a chest, the contents of which will help him settle his debt of death to the dreadful davy jones. will the captain succeed in salvaging his soul? will will (tee-hee!) turner and his feisty fiancee do some pleasurable pirate pumping? (mickey says nope!) oh well... avast, landlubbers! wacko captain jacko is backo.
the reaction: the only other pirate movie i saw before this and after the first one is a porn flick entitled pirates. yes, you read that right. porn. but clear your head of the cheesy nonsense pre-sex situations and equally cheesy nonsense dialogue because pirates was actually a very good movie. it had great special effects. it had a story. it had set designs. it had costumes. and yes it had hardcore sex, but the point is that it looked like a hollywood-made film, leaping miles beyond b-movie territory. bottomline: if a porn company can come up with something like that, what more can hollywood do right? well, years ago, the curse of the black pearl became a surprise hit as nobody thought that a movie based on a disneyland theme park ride and made by kid-friendly disney would do well in the box office. it surpassed expectations and left the fans wanting more. turns out it's actually a trilogy, and here came part 2. is dead man's chest as good as its predecessor? nah... it's better! the first one was a fresh fun frolicky flick on a subject none of us havent seen in decades: pirates (hook was about peter pan, mostly). it introduced us to captain jack sparrow, will turner, and elizabeth swann, and now they've taken these three persons (and some small players) and put them in an all-new adventure, against the usual way of sequels showing pretty much the same from the original, comparable to the equally entertaining indiana jones movies.
dead man's chest begins with a woman's chest, keira knightley under the rain, and from there we are taken on a wild roller coaster-y ride, and i think exactly a roller coaster ride because the movie kinda starts off slow (this is for non-watchers of the first movie to get to know the characters), much like the long queue you go through before you actually get strapped onto the cars. however, i was never bored with any of the non-action scenes and though that it was a proper re-introduction, especially with captain jack sparrow and his count of monte cristo-inspired entrance (note that gun he aptly brandishes in the posters). once that is done, the movie picks up the pace and kicks off the endless fun. like the first one, this may be an action-adventure movie but it never takes itself seriously, and ultimately triumphs as a comedy. but dont expect the laugh-out-loud balls-to-the-floor type. the movie is about silly fun and that's the kind of fun-ny you will get. i had the most laughs for the sequences in the cannibal tribe island. cannibalism has never been as hilarious. even the serious character of will turner takes part in the hilarity. but of course, when it comes to fun, the captain is your prime pirate. also, if you pay attention to the dialogue, there'll be lots of jokes and innuendos to giggle at.
dead man's chest does not let one down on the awe aspect as well. i enjoyed all the action sequences a lot, the three-way swordfight was great from start to finish. the special effects were awesome, so awesome that in some parts, it's hard to tell which are real and which are cgi. of course, the magnificent monster of mayhem, the kraken, is obviously cgi but all of its scenes were terrific. but davy jones wins the best cgi prize on this one. this octopus-faced villain was so well-done, some kid's gonna have nightmares about him. those tentacles are so life-like, always squirming about, and davy jones even uses them as extra limbs to hold things and play the piano (as opposed to the low budget medusa effect of darna's nemesis, valentina, using eels. the nerve these morons claim that they're at par with hollywood standards! spit!). great character design and great translation on the screen. also, one memorable scene for me is when the flying dutchman, davy jones' sinister skeletal ship, submerges into the ocean with and over-the-shoulder camera angle on an unflinching davy jones. neato!
the actors get the largest portion of kudos, and the versatile mr. johnny depp takes most of it, being the genius behind captain jack sparrow. instead of giving us the cliche cutthroat pirate performance, he opted for an eccentric swaggerring almost gay-like interpretation, loosely based on the rolling stones guitarist keith richards, at least according to the depp (keith richards will play captain jack sparrow's father in part 3). and just like in part 1, the depp carried the whole film, owning every scene he appears in. of course, legolas and keira "amidala decoy" knightley were just as great with their respective roles, orlando, keeping his will turner as the calculated commanding hero against the happy-go-lucky wing-it captain jack sparrow, and keira being pouty and spunky and yummy like most girlfriends are. i wouldnt have cared if she didnt have any lines. she did a naked vanity fair cover. she's hot. the rest of the minor characters did well too, biggs was good and so is the inclusion of bald headed fatso and guy with a wooden eye, but i cant help but notice that the beckett guy was sort of doing a captain jack sparrow thing with his role. and who would forget bill nighy as davy jones, yes there was a real actor behind that cgi, the dude who played the rude old rockstar in love actually and sang "christmas is all around me", and viktor in underworlds 1 & 2. the voicing was just perfect. overall, a cast of champions.
the conclusion: shiver me timbers! a well-done follow-up movie to a seemingly hard to follow-up movie (i hope you understood that). the figures agree: dead man's chest took the record from spider-man for being the highest grossing film on its opening weekend (spidey=114.8 million; captain jack=$132 million). a cult series in the making, im sure that disney will find it difficult to turn a blind eye to the fans after part 3 arrives and proves to be a splash hit as well. if disney makes the right decisions, i strongly believe that the pirates of the caribbean franchise can do to the sea what star wars did to space. arrr!
the good: the special effects, the comedy, and captain jack sparrow.
the bad: some incomprehensible pirate language, and the slightly uneven pace.
the ugly: davy jones's crew.
the verdict: 8 compasses that do not point north.
captain jai skizzo
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