the hidden post from a moron's blog

mrs. moron's best recipe for moronity

ingredients:
.01 pound of brain
5 tons of fugly
23 gallons of bad grammar
1 pixelated blog banner
3 million tablespoons of imitation

procedure:
1. find a person who is superior in intelligence and looks (extremely easy) and mimic everything that person does but never admit it. instead, change the topic by making baseless assumptions. if all else fails, invent an insult and consider it as truth.
2. in a ginormous blender, mix .01 pound of brain and 23 gallons of bad grammar. vomit into blender. shit into blender. take the neighbor's dog and make it vomit and shit into the blender. put blender outside your house with a sign asking everybody passing by to say something nice about your son and then vomit and shit into the blender. puree. drink it and blog about something. the .01 of brain and 23 gallons of bad grammar will make sure that everything you write will be full of grammatical errors, punctuation errors, spelling errors and pointless blabber.
3. create a fan page for your son and use his name to make a term to call his forced fans. for example: if your son's name is carl, then his fans will be carlanians. because nora's fans are noranians and vilma's fans are vilmanians, so yeah, carlanians are fans of...carl.
4. showcase your incomparable photoshop skills by putting 1 pixelated banner on your blog. make your profile sound as pretentious as you can. for example: trick people into thinking that you listen to classical music but say "classic music". boast your cooking prowess by stating that you actually cook gourmets. not gourmet food, gourmet meals or gourmet cuisine, but gourmet, the noun that means a connoisseur of food and drink.
5. use 5 tons of fugly to express deep hatred for the physically gifted ones, but insist that you do not envy them and firmly believe that you are better-looking. never let yourself be called it-would-be-an-insult-to-housemaids-to-say-that-you-look-like-one assface ugly. never. because you know you look worse than that. your situation is called a "worst face scenario".