boulevard of broken screams

last week i hit rock bottom. been a long time since ive become so depressed like that. the difference though is that this time around, i was mature enough to prevent myself from hurting... uh, myself. all i wanted was to be alone. i just felt like i didn't belong, that i was invisible, irrelevant. i read a quote somewhere that went like, lonely is the person who is no one's number 1, and i felt that that was me. that nobody ever goes to the mall, unintentionally sees something on display and thinks i might like it. that if i'm not present in a gathering, nobody notices i'm not there. that when it comes to choosing between me and someone else, i'm the disposable one. pay particular attention to that last one, me being the one who is easy to let go. i asked why and i was told that it's because i would understand. because im the good guy, the nice one, the one who would understand. god damn that. so i thought, maybe i should try being bad, a jerk, a complete asshole. will i get the respect i want? nope, because they then would say, that's not who i am. that i'm acting out of character. (i just realized im not making any sense and have no idea where im going with this so fuck this crap. im sure you've had enough of that so let's get on with the talkbacks. as always, thanks for coming here and typing some.)

bloodboard:

reyna juana: you may drop by anytime you please, your highness. got a princess that needs a prince harming?

jarvik: hey, it was a delight to bump into you again. me? im not doing as well as i wish i was. think you can help me fix me?

katia: here you go, dear katia. an update. how have you been?

comments:

cheska: no love or life to enjoy. it's all bummer for now. thanks for that nice comment though.

guile: and you're welcome to lounge around anytime.

red_pl8: you are too nice. i owe you a pizza. and yeah, ive always been the live by the day kind of guy. it's just that im going through some internal war and no one's helping.

i feel like im going to be sick. weak calves, heavy chest, temporary loss of balance. yep, my tell-tale signs that a fever's on the way. not unless my antibodies fight it off again. please, take a day off, guys, and let me get sick. and i mean really, really sick that i'd have to stay in the hospital for a week. taken care of by a hot nurse. darn, i don't want to go to work tomorrow. i wanna stay at home and play guitar hero on my ps2. anyways, cooked up a couple of movie reviews if you care reading them: one has mutation (the host), the other has decapitation (300). okie doke, that's it for today, dudes. always be excellent to each other.

the gospel according to jaiskizzy. praise be to tarantino.

p.s. the seemingly unrelated picture above is of misa from death note, played by the phenomenal erika toda. be mine, real-life anime girl.