ripe chance woods (edited)

im here at our apartment in makati, fiddling with layla's laptop, taking advantage of the free wifi again, where it's coming from, i dont know. it's probably from one of our neighbors who only turns it on every now and then, which makes getting the signal a matter of luck. and between layla and me, lady luck seems to favor me more. anyways, ive finally brought two-piece (my ps2) back here after her long vacation in batangas. unfortunately im unable to play her. our tv is sorta broken, it wont switch to video mode. so ila (the laptop) is my only source of entertainment for now.

for the umpteenth time, thanks for the visits, dear friends. hope you never lose the urge to take a peep here considering the enumerable other blogs you could choose to waste your time on. sure, any blogger would go and say one does this for one's self, regardless of the readers, but any artist would also point out that though it is true, an audience, and their negative or positive reactions, gives it meaning. they help you realize if what you're doing is right or wrong, good or bad. of course, if the feedback is bad, it does not necessarily mean you oughta give it up. as the cliche goes, learn from your mistakes, especially those you did not notice but others did (i.e. i have this big writing flaw: sometimes i fail to type a word or two eventhough im thinkin it or when im rephrasing a sentence and forget to omit some words, resulting to nonsense and grammatical errors.)

a few years ago, my family and i went to hong kong for a swimming competition that my lil bro and youngest sis competed. my brother and i shared a hotel room, and one night, i channel surfed to a ballet show. what made this ballet performance different from the others id usually skip is that the girl danced on top of her male partners head. you read that right. she effin balleted on top of his effin head. first she did it on his back, him bent forward. then on his shoulder, while he ran around the stage. i was like wtf?! and said something like: dont tell me she'll be on his head next. and she was. and i fell to the floor laughing, cursing, not believing my eyes. in one part he even "wore" her like a backpack bag. that and a bunch of other acrobatic stunts you've never seen in a ballet. crazy sht, that was. never got to see anything like it again.... until now. thank heavens for youtube (not exactly the same one i saw before, it was darker and had no back up dancers and the guy held the girl less). behold!

yay! video fixed!


i guess the aforementioned unknown neighbor with the wifi internet forgot to log-off because im still online after six hours. that or maybe he's downloading porn and slept on it. well, i gotta go and catch some z's for a while myself. take care now, bye bye then...

p.s. shameless plug: my 26th birthday is just a month away. yeesh.
p.p.s. the blog entry title needs no explanation if you're a prison break fan. it's one of michael scofield's tattoos and i dont know what it means either. but im hoping to find out after i watch the first episode of season 2 which i am downloadin. get on the train! get on the train!
p.p.s. anyone seen that commercial where a dark-skinned photographer with a bad mustache takes a picture of two girls who look alike but one has whiter skin? and after taking the pic, he looks at his camera and notices the skin difference and asks if the two girls are really sisters?! whatta loada crap! it was very very obvious that one girl was whiter then the other, he oughta have noticed this the moment they stepped into his studio. darn i hate this kinda bullsht. anyways, i'll be goin home to batangas this weekend so i'll be doin my blogging there. ciao!

m.i.a.

i have been a very busy boy.

but first, a little background story... [insert glimmering flashback sequence] i have a friend who is a total computer nerd. years ago i, with a cousin and another friend, put up an internet cafe that was an empire in the making had it not collapsed to the ground due to political interference. mike would pay us a visit every now and then, carrying with him his supply of computer software. he was the one who introduced me to macromedia flash (even before the internet cafe) which i learned and, pardon me for the lack of a lesser/better term, mastered through self-study. the other significant program dear ole mike brought to the table was adobe premiere. for the unaware, if there are any, adobe premiere is a video editing software, and faster than you could say exaggeration, making music videos became my favorite past-time activity. first ones i made, i used final fantasy fmv's. i was able to finish 13, twice that number never reached final output. i would have provided a sample but the old hard drive containing it is currently out of commission, awaiting repair. anyways, another friend of mine came over to the house to have his antique pc fixed and while i did what i could with it, i kept him entertained with my works. two years later, i received a call from him asking me if i wanted to apply for a job as an editor for a children's tv show under pre-production. part of me was reluctant since i thought that was too big a task for me whose editing was merely a hobby, but a larger part said go for it because i was a bum then. [fade out fade in] after about a month, i watch my name appear on tv for the first time, above the words video editor, during the end credits of kidstv. my gma stint soon followed wherein i made my transition from pc's adobe premiere to mac's final cut pro. sometimes i would take on a freelance job or two (or more commonly know as "raket") and since at present im just bumming around, when arkeo media called me up regarding an avp that needed an fcp editor, my pupils transformed into dollar signs and i grabbed the opportunity by the balls and squeezed (i didnt actually get paid in dollars). again, for the uninformed, avp stands for audio-visual presentation, used in seminars, meetings, reports, proposals, etc. this one was for procter and gamble, for the grand launching of their newly acquire brands, gillette and olay, which will be attended by rich business persons. the avp took most of my time, messed up my already messed up sleeping habits, layla went green eyed monster mode for a while, but it paid off. not much, but money's money (gotta feed my dinosaur). and so that is why i have been unable to blog for quite some time. sorry.

it wasnt supposed to take so long but the client delivered the necessary materials (videos, pictures, etc) in batches, and so even though i was done by day three, i had to incorporate the new arrivals, along with the revisions, which isnt as easy as changing the image in my profile box. they have to be re-rendered, and, as im sure my fellow editors out there would agree, rendering takes time. the other factor that affected the duration of work was the way things were done there as opposed to gma which i had gotten used to. in gma, we have last touch on the editing. audio, video, and graphics are all provided beforehand (but not always). in arkeo, the edit went first, then it was scored (music was added) outside, and then the videographics went in last. in the end, it came out well and made the event in time. no idea what p&g thought of it, but the arkeo people dug it i guess because they've got another one for me this week. havent said yes or no yet.

now here's something: nirvana's smells like teen spirit... in piano!


farewell for now. im off to watch the pilot episode cancelled aquaman tv series. take care you all everybody.

kicking and screaming

to the people who cared enough to take the time to shower my blog with such kind words over the past few days, thank you. i wish you all good karma for the next two million years.

with regards to my craft, the writing's going pretty well. ive just started the short story about the mute girl, and i cant wait to get to the ending, which is my favorite part. ive also taken the first step in getting my short film made: ive discussed it with friends, especially those whom i want to act in it, and they're willing to help me out. the concept for the film has something to do with courting a girl and they all agree it's good so i think it is good (well, i am proud of my works but that usually stays within my personal space). i guess im really back on track with my craft because the urge to write just becomes stronger and stronger. for a long time, the ideas simply sit and wait with no kick or scream from the muse, but now she's gone ballistic, and i have another short story standing in line (this one's about a curse that a girl cast on a guy). now is a good time for someone to invent that machine ive long been wishing for: the one that sucks the story from your brain and automatically types it for you.

gotta go, guys. the muse and i have a date.

NACHO LIBRE by jaiskizzy

the always funny jack black stars as ignacio, a friar/cook in a mexican orphanage who grew up dreaming of becoming a luchador and a luchador is one who participates in the mexican sport lucha libre. lucha libre is mexican wrestling. anyways, with the diminishing food supply, and the arrvial of the hot nun, sister encarnacion, ignacio steps up to finally fulfill his dream. with the help of esqueleto, he dons a costume and enters the lucha ring as nacho. despite getting their asses kicked, the twosome earn money and soon set their sights on the big leagues. will they succeed? will nacho bang the hot nun in steamy rough forbidden sex? will i stop asking these questions and get on with the review?



the first movie where i first recognized jack black's talents was high fidelity, a love story-ish film starring john cusack. i cant exactly remember his role but he was a record store clerk who had an extensive musically knowledge. i think it was kind of a gay role, not sure, but maybe it's because the only scene i can remember him in is him listening to walking on sunshine. i checked the internet movie database and goodness, this dude has been in a ton of movies before that, in less prominent roles. i'd have to watch some of them again (especially high fidelity. that was a good one) to seek him out. anyways, jack black was born to be funny. he has the face, the body, belly, the wit, the skills, and he uses these to deliver the funniness effectively. he's that friend of your who wouldnt mind making a fool out of himself just to make the group laugh. he made falling in love funny in shallow hal and made us wish he had been our grade school music teacher in school of rock. here in nacho libre, he makes churchlife seem fun, and the sport of lucha libre funny (it is taken seriously in mexico). he is the main man of laughs in this film, (esqueleto failed to impress me) with one exception: that monk who said he'd been having diarrhea because of the food ignacio serves. the line, the way it was said, and the context, made me laugh out loud. the rest is all jack black, almost every scene he's in and every line he says is hilarious. his in-ring antics were classic, how can a fat guy like him be so agile? but my favorite ones were his impromptu songs. jack black's other talent is music, his next movie is a semi-bio about his band, tenacious d (their songs are awesome: fck her gently, tribute, and the skit inward singin). anyways, as jack lets loose a bit of that musical genius in a couple of songs, one began about his turn to sing and then sequed to ramses, the greatest luchador in the world, the other dedicated to his love interest, encarnacion. both were darn funny and jack black golden (complete with self-instrumenation), but encarnacion was my favorite. made me laugh so hard, with "i eat bugs,i eat grass, with my hand i wipe my... tears" and then "encarnacion! encarnacion!". never thought a name like that can be funny.

did you notice i said "almost every scene"? blame the director jared hess for making me say almost. he did the same thing with napoleon dynamite. not all the jokes and gags work. like a mango tree, not all the mangoes you're gonna get would suit your taste. there'll be big sweet ones (or sour, if you prefer), some ordinary ones, and then there are those that are cracked open and rotten. there were quite a lot of rottens in napoleon dynamite (for me, i guess. lots of other people worship every frame of that film), and a few in nacho. these particular scenes resemble those in pinoy comedy flicks: planned rescue blows when ignacio mistakes two bystanders as the hired brawlers, the training scenes, and the old and tired "nyeh!". bad choices, mr. hess.



jared hess should be immensely grateful for having jack black on board. he pulled this film together like that scene where he is in his recreational clothes and he clinches his butt. surrounded by mundane characters, this was a one-man show. i also liked how he punctuates any references to lucha libre with a glorified look on his face, you know like the one i'd wear if i saw jennifer love hewitt's boobs in person. and who would take a romantic walk with a woman he's attracted to and then stop near a wall and do a one-knee-bent pose to impress her? only jack black. a walking tub of lard and laughs. the same cannot be said for his sidekick, esqueleto. he's just not funny. the big grins, the screams, failed attempts at being funny. horrible. he is no match for napoleon dynamite's partner, pedro. the fat kid, chancho, did a better job. and then there is that sweet sexy senorita, sister encarnacion. there should be a bible passage somewhere that prohibits nuns being this hot and dimpled because more sins would just be committed at the sight of her. kneeling. hands clasped near her lips (thunder!). anways, she looks a lot like penelope cruz (prettier, imho) with a pinch of winona rider. she gave a great performance of just being hot.



this movie, like many, is in a "hit or miss" zone. on one side, there's the people who would enjoy it to the bone, and there's the uptight ones who'd say they wasted their money. it's a hit for me, i'd watch anything with jack black in it (or will ferrell. or better yet, jack black and will ferrell!!) because he is the one of the few jesters left in this business that can really make us laugh with the least amount of effort. he did his magic here and made it as funny as it is. here's to more comedies, jack!

the good: jack black. and the hot nun (bless me father for i have sinned...)
the bad: esqueleto's "trying hard"-ness. pinoy-ish comedy.
the ugly: them hairy midgets.
the score: 7 corns on sticks.


skizzo libra

death by diaper

what kind of a freakin blog entry title is that, you ask? well, here's a filler first: blog entry title explanation in the intro...

after lunch and a nap, i decided to take a stroll around batangas city proper, something i havent done for eons. i wanted to revisit the places i frequented in the past, which are mostly bootleg dvd stalls. i also wanted to buy mikmik. i failed to purchase even a single sachet of this delicious chocolate powder heaven-sweet supersnack for lo and behold, old yeller, the marketplace where they sold has been decimated and replaced by the big steel skeleton of a possibly new one in construction. the pirate alleys havent changed much. well, the prices have lowered but i didnt find anything i felt like watching. i went home sweaty, stopped by the supermarket in our village for some midnight munchies (i was supposed to watch plan 9 from outer space tonight but the download aint done yet grr). anyways, on my way downtown, while riding the jeepney which played britney spears songs the whole time, i saw a lady selling diapers on the sidewalk. they seem to have no brand and were packed in clear plastic bags. a guy was making an inquiry. and the very first thing that jumped into my head was: killer diapers. an evil possessed diaper strapping itself to the man's face, choking him to death. hence, the title. (bow!)

that little stroll down memory avenue also helped me pull out something inside of me that has been hiding for a long time. i am gonna write a short story. ive been having loads of ideas for short films that i swear i would shoot the moment ive amassed enough funds, and all of them have been kicking at me to be let out. my muse picked one of those ideas and told me to write it as a short story (there's this mute girl, you see, and... i cant tell you the rest). i dont know why it chose that one, but madame muse convinced me and so now i have the urge to put my creative gift to good use once again. to give you an image of how this muse thing works, think of gollum from the lord of the rings. the story idea is the one ring, in his hand. substitute that ugly creature with a gorgeous naked nymph, but keep the creepiness. and instead of hissing "my preciouss...", she is seducing me and telling me to "write thisss one..."

movie review time! i've got two, both are quite late. but before we get to them, allow me to rant a bit. i really wish i could do this for a living. watch a movie, make a review. yes, even pinoy films, as long as i get paid. im pretty certain im equipped for that kind of work, ive seen a number of movie reviews done on television and none of them were good. not that im saying i am good, i just believe i can do a better job, because basically all they do is summarize the film's plot and say it's good or bad. meh. as for my reviews, you be the judge if they rock or if they suck ('cause if you ask me, it's all gee-double-oh-dee good): nacho libre and the break-up. again in the spankin new template.

sorry, no links for today. but for you spider-man fans like me who cant wait to get their arses in theaters ot watch the third, if you don't mind the blurriness, i have here the link to that awesome footage shown to lucky bastards and bastardess in the san diego comic con! (the youtube versions were taken down) quick before it's too late! you gotta click here. there's a venomous surprise at the end.

okay... i'm off, kids. ima hit the sack and try to sleep longer than four hours. dont be like me, take care of yourselves always. snoogans.

p.s. dont know what in tarnation is wrong with blogger but i cant put pictures in. jeez.

pre-cursor

howdy. here i am again in batangas city, in our humble house, inside the den, in front of our family pc. nothing to blog about right now, i'll do that later (i do all my writing when the sun is gone. my muse is a vampire). i just thought maybe you should know. so there, now you know and knowing is half the battle.

outie. for now.