THE DARK KNIGHT by jeeanfoxy

so what if it's another batman movie? its the best one yet!

things get more comic-y this time around, unlike in Batman Begins where the darkness and dragging storyline consumed me more than the good parts did. in the first one i kept thinking "o tapos? ano ngayon? so? ang tagal! flashback na naman? ano ba tlg?" ...and needless to say batman's props looked like crap. boo.

the dark knight presented a totally different perspective of what a batman movie should be. it was obviously done excellently from start to finish, and i bet even the split-second scenes took time to get right. the car chases were a bit dizzying but satisfying nonetheless. and here's a big plus: the hunky christian bale in his upgraded batman getup loaded with way cooler gadgets that will keep your head spinning all thoughout the movie.

and here go the minuses. (1) a very un-lengthy exposure of a villain (no, not the Joker). (2) maggie gyllenhaal's fugliness kept me distracted and detached from her Rachel Daws character. miscast. bigtime. and um... (3) batman isn't a hero? o.O

and now we come to Heath Andrew. Heath "Sayang ka bakit ka namatay" Andrew Ledger. his performace deserves an Oscar, no doubt about it. no one else could have played the role of The Joker better. heathie, may you rest in peace, drug-free.

the dark knight kept me at the edge of my seat. i'm the type of person who gets bored quite easily, but with TDK, i had my eyes glued to the screen from start to finish. the movie was quite long but it didn't fuckin matter...! the dark knight rules. boom. box office.

watch it, you low lives. here's my analogy: for the girls, it's better than chocolates and flowers on top of a box filled with havaianas. for the guys, it's better than your favorite porn.

xoxo
JeeanHatesMaggieGyllenhaal

profondo paradiso

pretend this was us and not something i googled up.

it was supposed to be an ordinary [bleep]day for me and my jellybean; she, trying to absorb a lecture, and me, running out of things to do at home. but nay, we can't settle for another mundane day away from each other. so i gassed up the car, picked her up and we decided to hold up a jollibee, because no one's ever done it and pointing a gun at that effeminate giant insect must feel good. however, traffic was quite heavy in our prospective direction so we u-turned and just went to the beach instead. right choice.

after about an hour of talking, singing, laughing, driving with one hand because i was holding hers with the other, buying a footlong sandwich and contemplating what it would be like to have a penis of that length (just one more inch, dammit), we arrived at the place that seemingly had been reserved for us because we had it all to ourselves. money switched palms and we immediately undressed near the car to reveal our swim garb underneath, much to each other's delight, mostly mine due to the small black pieces of cloth with strings covering her oh-so-wonderful treasure chest. with her porcelain skin and curves at the proper areas, i think i lost the ability to control my saliva flow and was wet before i even hit the water.

we first dipped our heavenly bodies (okay, only hers) into the pool and stayed there for quite a while. my sexy fair lady knew how to swim but she refused my requests to show off her butterfly and backstroke. insert breaststroke joke here. i was underwater most of the time, admiring her luscious legs, hoping my lenses remained in my eyes. we kissed, we hugged, we had a lot of fun especially when it got silly. there's this stupid dance step i do to a boy band song and we found out that it's not advisable to do it in a pool. we did bullet-time sequences and she was in stitches when i performed a multiple kick move. i always love how she laughs. i tried teaching her this water-squirting thing i can do with my hands but she just can't do it. nobody else can. nobody.

wouldn't it be cool if like, there was a way you could go from the pool to the sea without leaving the water? anyways, we headed to the shore and soaked in the warm liquid salt. with no one else in the water, we felt like we owned everything up to the edge of the horizon. i watched her be scared of the waves like a kid. the waves werent that big but they assaulted her nonetheless. a priceless moment, and i knew i am truly in love with her. a shark could come by and bite my head off and i would die happy.

people started to pour in as we turned to the showers and there's a part of this story that i have to skip but i'll just say that it involves a door without a lock. we dressed, drove home and danced in the car. it was a perfect day until i fucked up a bit in the end. darn bicyclist. anyways, overall, it was a great first real date, the best ever i've had so far, a memory meant to be reminisced over and over again. the gods envied us that day.

may the fates who have brought us together conspire to pave a promising future for us so that we'll hope no more and just be.

i love you, love.


p.s. so screw me.

you want more fans, i want more stage

1. Go here. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go here. The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

If you want to do this again, you'll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3. Go here. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Go here. The first ten links you end up in (minus the .coms) are your 10 song titles.

the results:

my band's name:
curry village

album title:
most people never listen

cover:

songs:
roy's world
temple university
under a dying sun
bring back knightmare
fairweather
i'm scared
fall inside
security distro
move on
tremble (if you don't have a rat, you can't be one of us)


p.s. thanks, fox.

stampede

i woke up tonight with tears in my eyes and shoeprints on my shirt. but the invisible stains are harder to clean.

i feel like i've been chasing my own shadow.

what doesn't kill you makes you stranger? perhaps. or maybe i am already dead. i just don't know it.

i need emotional surgery.

p.s. yes. it doesnt make sense.

WANTED by jaiskizzy

the gist: office pawn wesley is fed up with his life in a cubicle. he takes anti-anxiety pills to calm himself down from smashing the pc monitor into a co-worker's face. turns out that his high anxiety means something: his father who left him when he was a week old is actually one of the best assassins in town. a group of assassins called the fraternity, complete with hazing initiation, wants him to be part of their payroll. they send angelina jolie to "recruit" him, which is a great decision since it's pretty hard to say no to her. cue the bon jovi song and let the bullets fly!

i had a very similar movie plot years ago which is now worthless because it's gonna look like i ripped off wanted. boo-hoo. the moment i saw the bullets hitting each other in the trailer, i was like, there goes one of my script ideas blown to smithereens. anyways, when i heard that the director of wanted was the russian guy who directed the russian film nightwatch, i knew there was something spectacular to look forward to this movie. nightwatch and its sequel daywatch were absurd but visually cool films and the director has brought his unique style to hollywood. wanted will make you question physics while wearing a tent in your pants. and i aint even talking about angelina jolie yet. without giving anything away, you have never seen wanted's action scenes in any other action movie.

moving on to mrs. pitt. i would watch any movie with angeline jolie shooting a gun. that woman is badass. she doesnt hold a gun like a girl. i won't be surprised if she's an actual hitwoman in real life. if i were to be killed by an assassin, i would wish it was her, naked, and biting her lower lip when she pulls the trigger. james mcavoy was kind of a hit-and-miss (damned puns). him as wesley the wuss didnt work for me and felt like he was channeling shia labeouf a bit. he was good as the badass bulleteer though.

cant say the same thing about morgan freeman. he's a great actor but he just didnt belong in this movie. i think they were supposed to get samuel l. jackson but he was too busy doing motherfucker speeches in colleges so they opted for morgan instead who acted like he was still the president of the united states of america in deep impact. and since we're on the gripe train already... there were way too many slow-mos that this movie would have probably been half an hour shorter if those scenes had run at normal speed. i mean, okay, we got it the first time, to make the bullet curve, you have to shoot the gun with an arm sweep. it doesnt have to be slow-moed every single time someone does it.

i have several reasons to hate this movie (some aren't even about the movie) but overall i enjoyed the shootout show. word's out that the studios want a sequel but i cant imagine one without angelina. maybe she has a twin sister?

the good: the story, the direction and the hot chick with great lips.
the bad: james mcavoy in the first quarter, slow-mo overkill, and the predictable ending.
the ugly: morgan freeman after he says "oh, fuck."
the verdict: 7 letter-u-substitute teeth.


unwanted.

WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY by jaiskizzy

the gist: some guy named zia decides to clean his room up and then slash his wrists with a razor. apparently, when you "off" yourself (commit suicide, yo), you end up in an afterlife world much like ours except it is so dull and everything's been slightly desaturated in photoshop. there he meets eugene who helps him search for his girlfriend, who supposedly killed herself too, and they both bump into a chick who wants to find the people in charge of that world. what a weird and cute lil movie.

i almost offed myself during my angsty years but i couldnt pull the trigger then so there's no way i can confirm if such a dimension exists for suicidals. the emo people surely would love that though. this movie however aint got no shade of emo on it at all. so, dont go owning the movie just because of the title, you sidecombed freaks. anyways, wristcutters is pretty much a journey movie where a guy and his friend hits the road on a quest of some sort and stumbles upon various stuff and people along the way. zia and the moustached dude have great non-chemistry and it's fun to watch them be friends but not really. add in the odd chick who likes to mess up with signs and you've got a trio of misfits who are and arent better off together at the same time. am i making any sense?

the dude who played zia looked familiar, i couldnt quite remember where i've seen him and am too lazy to check imdb. but he's okay, the role didnt call for anything special really. he got to kiss leslie bibb though, so he's pretty lucky. the dude who played the moustached dude though was great. i actually thought he was eugene hutz (the musician that the character was based on). the odd chick was so-so, she's not really on my list of favorite actresses and i would have liked someone beautifuler but she did fine. and then there was...will arnett?!

i'll "cut" this review short and simply say that it's a good film to watch to pass time, not when you want something to pump up your pulse rate or if you have a sibling who believes my chemical romance's music is music.

the good: the premise.
the bad: unconvincing clumsiness.
the ugly: used-condom beach.
the verdict: 6 floorboard blackholes.


templeshooter.

the square root of tears

jackpot wrote me a poem:

skip counting

how can one feel neglected
if that's not what two intended?

she tried real hard to mend it
took her time to spend it
like the shadow at his feet
she relentlessly had to repeat
what made them fall in love at first
and how they are haunted by their worst
she was too easy
to cry like a baby
but she never cared
no, she never cared
one walked the old road of solitude
maintained his unfaltering attitude
with blistered feet she caught him
with a loss for breath she held him
but he never cared
no, he never cared

what is two to do
when one can't handle three?

so i wrote her one as well:

pseudoku

hand-clasped lovers in front of me,
we too would be eventually.
i must ignore my misery
and wait a little longer.

hours pass and pages fly,
i find you with another guy.
i must control my urge to cry
and be a little stronger.

i need to go. dont fail me, feet.
be brave to walk an endless street.
i must accept my brief defeat
and push a little further.

aching legs and heaving chest,
i know i've done my very best.
i must allow my heart to rest
and dream a little murder...